I'm tired of being what you want me to be...feeling so faithless...lost under the surface...
I'm tired of living this way...voices from left and right and centre, surrouding me, telling me what to do and when to do it and what's right for me, but how would you know? And when I want to know, when I really want to know, the voices become muted, like moving underwater, slow to reply and even later heard, distorted by the waves and diluted by the current.
I don't want to be alone like this, lonely despite the company I keep...
I don't want to feel alien, a foreigner lost in a foreign country, living or pretending to live, moving around in a place which is not my own and in which I don't feel I belong...
I want to feel comfortable in my own skin, comfortable in my body and confident instead of feeling compelled to change with every person I meet...to fit their expectations, to assume yet another personality as easily as switching accents. Want to find a place where I can be myself, whoever that is.
Want to stop struggling...want to start facing it but I can't. What is love, anyway. How would I know when it's there and when it isn't.
4 pixie potion(s):
hey mel =) hrm.. dun sound so sad ler *hugz* There's so many pplz out there with their own opinions, how r u going to choose who to listen to? Maybe the opinions of those pplz matter to u becoz u care about wat they think, but remember, if their really worth ur time, wat they say to u is only to advise u, not to make u feel obligated in any way! Hey.. btw.. thanks for ur email u know... >_< been wanting to email u for so so so long!! REALLY!! *promise* *sheepish* But been incredibly bz these 2 months.. Summer school is bloody intensive *sweats* Bleahhh.. Oh, bought u something n will be in melb in a few days ( I HOPE!) Cause I'll be moving out from my current house this week but if i cant find a house A.S.A.P = homeless i'll have to forfeit my plane ticket!! *Sobss* kay lar.. i go first.. u take carez kayyy miss ya lottz! =)) - Ying Ning
heya.. it's been ages since i've commented on ur blog.. u've described the way i feel sometimes abt myself, like i live to please other ppl rather than myself.. psychology calls it deindividuation.. but anyway, u just gotta have faith in urself and in my case, God.. and yeah having faith in God is the best thing.. i know u may not agree with me, but yeah i feel more comfortable when God's in control.. i'm not surprised if u refute that, but think abt it.. anyway, if u've noticed have changed my blog address.. anyway have a great year ahead!!
p/s i'm thinking of visiting Melbourne in June-July..
*hugs* from a fellow passerby. relax, life's a phase.
*hugs* from a fellow passerby. relax, life's a phase.
Post a Comment