Time Standing Still

I like my life the way it is now.


I like how my responsibilities are limited only to that of taking care of myself, my family, my friends. Everything MINE.


I don't really want to go back to Melbourne. Because then I'll have to do Orientation. Which means taking care of a bunch of strangers who don't give a crap about us anyway and whom we'll probably never see again/forget about. And then I'll have to start being the president of the Malaysian Society. Which I also don't want because I'll have the fate of the club/committee in my hands. And I pretty much still don't think I'm capable/don't really want to assume such huge burdens.


I like it when all I have to do is take care of everything that matters in my own little world.


But life catches up, doesn't it?


I don't really know why, but I feel like the fate of the family now depends on me too. Why isn't anyone else trying to hold it together and make us feel some sort of easy tolerance, at least, towards each other? To be able to maintain even a 5 minute conversation?? Do they think I like always having to be the one to rack my brain for things to say?


I guess...I could do more. I don't know whether it would help. But the thing is: I don't enjoy it. And that's what worries me about the whole thing. Talking to family members not supposed to be this hard...or this obligatory.