Merdeka

Last night at precisely 2 am in the morning (12 am Malaysian time), racous shouts of "Merdeka! Merdeka! Merdeka!" filtered down into my room from the floors above - a testament to the Malaysian community this humble Melbourne apartment. Tonight, a Malaysian Merdeka party is being held in the function room. I have been asked to go, but I doubt it's a binding thing. Once again, the apprehension of meeting new people is upon me, and it seems to be winning.

Merdeka. The significance of my country's independence is particularly moving for me as I am not at home to pooh-pooh the televised parades or flag-bedecked protons. However much the notions of independence from an outside reign has lost it's romanticism for me, I still wish I were at home, soaking up the atmosphere, sitting in my house and watching the crowds gather at Dataran Merdeka. I can imagine the heat and humidity, the noisiness and the inevitable odours that can arise from being in a hot crowd. I can see in my mind little kids holding tubes of cheap candy posing as toy flags, and the dotting of trees around the square, which is probably as polluted as any other public place in Malaysia despite the supposed patriotism we're supposed to have.

Reading The Insane Ox's posting about Independence Day, I found myself subconsciously agreeing, feeling his disappointment and sadness with our country as deeply as if I hadn't left it for two and a half years. Yes, sometimes, life isn't as fair as it should be, justice obscured by the dead-end argument of "bumiputra". Anwar's trial was undoubtedly not one of the ideal ways we would have liked for Malaysia to finally hog some print space in foreign media. We are polluted, corrupted and less-developed in the full sense of the word.

But Malaysia is my home. Along with the darker sides of kiasu-ism and the rat races, I have seen goodness in many Malaysians, teenagers like you and me, the elderly, adults. It doesn't happen very often, and it's not rewarded or sometimes even commended. But that is all it takes for me to once again have faith my country. Somehow, for reasons I cannot even begin to make sense of, I feel that Malaysia is the best place on earth to be. I don't know if I would die for it, or even fight for it. After all, I for one was overjoyed to not have been one of the "unlucky" ones to be selected for national service, although those that have come away from it have apparently been through character-building and cherished experiences.

But I know that Malaysia is where I belong, and where I want to end up in the future. And I am sincerely glad that we acheived independence when we did - who knows what Malaysia and its culture would be like today had it been controlled by the West for any longer that it had been?

Happy Merdeka Day.